The Door Story

To explain: a piece of paper was stuck to a door last year, and all those who passed that way were invited to add a line to the story. As said door was at the top of a tower, the lines appeared only rather slowly. So the owner of the door decided to make it into a virtual e-mail door, at which point the story exploded, and this is the result (so far... and with the line breaks removed):

Indulgent King Luther emerged from his weekly bath in caviare. This, in itself, was nothing unusual. However, the fact that the Bishop of Snoogton, two of his choirboys and the favoured parish donkey had been discovered together in his chamber annoyed him greatly. He voiced his discontent, but this was the wrong thing to do as the Bishop was on interesting drugs and carried a kalashnikov in his red lace knickers, which he instantly drew with a flourish and burst out from behind the shower curtain. At this precise moment, a wibbly voice said:
" I do believe these sharades are getting unsocietal and are disturbing the slumber of the royal nose. Do be quiet so it can get back to the most enjoyable activity of taking four large bananas and sticking them..." The voice suddenly stopped.
"Oh dear", said the King, "I seem to be having a little trouble with my trouser-press," "the Court Wizard made it sentient and it's trying to swallow my new green miniskirt; and if it does that it will turn into a new breed of vampiric toast extrator, just like the last one, something must be done!!". There was a long pause.
"might i suggest", said the Donkey, having returned from its long stay in the local hospital, "that we consult Dr Cuthbert Quaint, master of Magdalen, Oxford as to how we extract this tomato without endangering the lives of countless qualified dolphins", when suddenly an enormous roar was heard from the bowels of the dungeons whereupon in an inspired attempt to re-establish the plot; the Bishop lept, seizing the donkey, devouring the tomato, and escaped in the general direction of the deepest spaggetti mine in the entire Bay area, a move which no doubt surprised the gathering crowd of spammers. Naturally the choirboys gave chase, as the bishop still had on his red lace knickers, borrowed earlier that day from Mark, who was simultaneously masquerading as countless dolphins and a trouser-press.
"It's someone else's turn in the donkey suit!" gasped George "get off my Queen CDs!" Everyone remained silent except Lemming who thought it amusing to extol the virtues of Cuddly toys to a pedestrian by pushing snowman into cookie monster, and shutting them in a cardboard box, thereby creating the start of a hopefully less surreal door story. The BugBok jumped off this mortal coil by being swallowed by the SpiderBok,
"shame" thought Charlie, "I thought I was in there" to which BikBok replied loudly, "You'd have to fight me for her" a comment which led to much frivolity, although nobody had any idea why. Ben began to get the feeling that he always got around this time of year. He jumped into the Cam and shouted,
'I haven't got an umbrella! Why not?' - which was particularly bizarre as he had one on him at the time. Up his trousers in fact where a ferret named Frederick was racing up. Despite the icy Cam water, Ben found this rather exciting and screamed in ecstasy as Eve rushed there, shocked by the thought of her favourite ferret suffering in this way. As she plunged into Ben's trousers to rescue her ferret something rather strange happened. Back on the riverbank, BikBok and NewMark were messing with Martins mind, when the King, in order to get himself back into the story, balanced an entire rhubarb on his nether regions, proclaiming groggily:
"Is this weird enough? Can I join Sheila yet?" for he had been wanting to become a High Queen for quite some time. Just as his rhubarb was beginning to droop Ben jumped out of the river and ate it in one gulp. The sun was coming out to play, but, shocked at this uncertificated rhubarbary, wept
"oh, why rhubarbery when 'incomparable rhubarbarianism' is a well-known brand-name for the once popular agricultural deterrent rhubarb wire" - something to which everyone felt great sympathy towards, and yet had absolutely no intention of sharing their bananas. Having carefully decided yet again to do something progressive in the story, everyone present promptly decided to follow the Bishop in entering the mines, vowing to retrieve him and once again liberate the captive penguins from the six foot high eyeless albino penguins of the cyclopean caverns.
"It really is amazing what you find in LSD-mines" said the fluorescent Vee, only pausing to ask who George was with in the donkey suit. It turned out to be a six foot high eyeless albino penguin *oh dear* I knew George was kinky but... *grinn* only when toy emus of gargantuan proportions were involved, and...

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