The Sheila Quotes Page

These are in nearly chronological order...
(last updated 20.03.2000 but not very accurately)

lmd21: If it's going to go down, it must be of optimum firmness to start with.

mdwh2: What vegetable would it be? Would have to be an ikkle one that fits into everyone's hole, i know some people have really big ones.

lmd21: Stains are good.

cgb23: Electric toothbrushes are easy to come by.

eij20: Leo took me an unusual way on Saturday...

ld225: Everything is going to be sticky after this party.

ac280: I'm being upstaged by my own wardrobe.

twl20: I don't care if I win or lose, I just want to win...to PLAY! To play!

lmd21: Cambridge library is very bad for friction.

lmd21: I feel like a grunting and squealing episode.

chj20: I don't know if I've got a big chopper.

ac280:Do you think I could beat Mark if I was naked and covered in baby oil?

chj20: You could find Red Bull in the Red Cow...

jm266: Do you think Doseybat counts as a blonde bimbo or is she not blonde enough?

eij20 (to ea212): I've seen Casby's arsenal...

chj20: Ooh! Let's have a recursive naughtiness process!

ces31: Goths are odd shapes.

eij20: Nobody said anything about mooing. Mooing is extra.

lmd21: But would you eat a fluffy bunny rabbit?
chj20: Not with all the fluff on!

cgb23: Fourteen inches is enough for me.

cmm23: You didn't scream, so it *must* be erotic...

chj20: No, nobody wiggles on top of us either.

cmm23: I must admit I had a couple this morning, and last night... and I gave Pen one as well.

chj20: You just put Alan's face in that tart!

eij20: Dried blood, satanic rituals... I like that!

mds27: I'm not going to do any more quotes 'cos I'm innocent.
(2 seconds later):I've just wet myself.

cgb23: Where has my cherry gone?

eij20: Casby, try and look sexy and not like a gerbil!

eij20: I think I can't do barn owls.

chj20: Phallic things stick out more.

msv20: Ooh! Let's have fun with hamsters!

eij20: I think we've actually got a no underwear situation here, which is really good.

msv20: I don't know how I came to have a *mark*

nn211: It's much better backwards... okay... do it forwards, if you insist.

nn211: Hold on a sec... Damn! Mark's is longer than mine... Hold on... Yes it's longer, but mine's longer than Casby's.

mds27: Just think what life would be like without moistness, dampness and stains...

lmd21: I'm not covered in golden syrup, so you don't want me.

eij20: I'm taking orders now for decomposing tiger sandwiches.

mds27: Whip me when I pretend to be your mother.

lmd21 (to chj20): Come upstairs and I'll put my bra on your shorts and show you.

gms27: It's amazing how six inches can make you so much more comfortable...

gms27: I'm so tempted to cover you in brown sauce.

mds27: I don't want to eat George. Or even lick him.

lmd21: Quick! Unwrap it and stick it in my mouth!

msv20: I keep putting my knee in the hole...

cpa22: Actually I like being forced to do it, but then I do it all the time anyway (usually in bed at night)

rlh31: Jesus stole my snowman

rsa22: do you have any special dispensation to carry a large weapon?

rlh31: sometimes it amazes me what comes out of my mouth.

lmd21: Cucumbers are like kumquats 'cos they both have 'cum' in them...

cgb23: I do exist *and* I have a haddock fetish.

cpa22: It sounds like two cardboard boxes are having a fight outside your door

chj20: I'd like to be an octopus so I could squirt ink at fish.

cpa22: You are the best argument for artificial intelligence that ever existed

mds27: If it's warm, does it mean it's still squishy?

mds27: highqueenfeet complaining as been delivering more sex and chocolate *exhaustedlook* *satisfiedpleasurablesmile*

mds27: Last year I had it off most of the time

eij20: Pearls of wosdom (!)

cpa22: Do they allow books in exams to put under heads?

cpa22: *read* or I'll draw green things on your nose when you wake up.

cpa22: She eats books like a little silverfish

mds27: You get them all hot and steamy so they go all squidgy and fluffy.

mds27: A halo is good around somebody's neck as a restraint

mds27: I promise I've never tried squidging chocolate icecream without hair

mds27: Ooooh it's *extendable*

mds27: the good thing about bananas is that they are re-usable

msv20: Several stains accidentally dropped down from the ceiling onto my duvet cover...

msv20: I can't swallow when my head is horizontal.

msv20: Look, he's wearing a skirt... Oh no, it's a she! ...Oh, pity...

eij20: Imagine unzipping your fruitbat...

chj20: The opposite of abstainance is sheep.

eij20: I'm sorry Martin, when you're around my clothes just fall off me!

mds27: Do you want me to wet the bed?

eij20: Yum yum, suck the wine off that!

eij20: You have several boys in you?

eij20: We've got a slight interspecies thing going on here...

lmd21: Mine's longer than yours-
chj20: But mine's wider and it's pneumatic.

lmd21: let's talk about penguin genitals.

mds27: Yes, I can do it with a thingy.

eij20: Fork me!

eij20: I'm the lemon tart, if anyone wants to eat me...

eij20 (to chj20): Are you imitating Lemming during sex? That's very rude.

eij20: Do what I used to do at Christmas - hold breath - swallow... You really want some 'cos it's grown-up but you can't stand the taste...

chj20: I was thinking of sodomy and buggery, actually.

lmd21: Is this sex?
mpr22: It's in there.

lmd21: I woke up this morning with a feather on my pillow.
mpr22: She's been pulling birds again...

eij20: Lemming, can I have an e?

vep??: Hang on a minute, I've just got to unhook my bra from my boots...

mds27: I wasn't even *attempting* to rape the bed.

lmd21: I'm sure Martin must have something resembling a banana...

mds27: Maybe we should have sex on the front of the t-shirt.

lmd21 (to chj20): I never knew you were a fish - that'd explain the stains on your carpet...

mds27: I think face down is always more fascinating.

mds27 (to msv20, chj20, lmd21 & ea212): Do you want a big screw? (types of screw available outside O19: bent screw, prolonged small screw, medium screw with additions, big screw)

seen on a paper somewhere: Randy, rampant penguin seeks shy dragon for friendship, maybe more...

lmd21: if life was just sex and chocolate we'd be sick and tired all the time...

mpr22: Delerium isn't a very sensible person.

eij20: Men's men use vaseline.

vep??: Martin, have you got any spare bras?

mpr22: Lemming does it silently.
lmd21: Excuse me!
mpr22: well, semi-silently...

eij20: It can be yukky thinking about sex in cold blood.

eij20: Oops, cream on the trousers!

mds27: A Freudian slip is where you say one thing but really mean your mother.

ex-djsd1000: Mark, stop flashing!
eij20: Oh it's alright, he's only little.

mds27: Lucifer stole my plate!

physicslecturer: Any dynamical system in physics can be thought of as a dynamical system.